Missing the Stops

The train drove right past London. Unfortunately, that isn’t even the first stop it’s missed–and it sure as hell isn’t going to be the last.

But, the on-board entertainment isn’t all bad. Some days it leaves much to be desired, but other days it’s enough to make someone feel, dare I say, happy. And, on those days when it’s not, you can look out the window at the scenery rolling by and just thank your lucky stars you’re alive.

Or, maybe that isn’t something you’re thankful for. There’s a carriage for people who feel that way. Carriage Number 12.

12 has always been my favorite number.

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Stop after stop after stop after stop…

I watched a moving picture today. The man in it said, ‘If you’re tired of having to start¬†again,¬†stop giving up.’

That really spoke to me, as I give up in just about everything. I’m a quitter. I always have been. Granted, I do have the ‘excuses’ of severe anxiety and severe depression, but I don’t want to give up on this dream of mine. I want the journey to be health, and the culmination to be London.

End of the line. Everybody off.

It’s okay, my dear. Everything is okay to be okay.

Think about it.

This old train’s slowing down.

2016. What has it meant for you? For me it’s been a series of ups and downs, highs and lows. The various mental and physical illnesses I have, they’ve been taking their toll on me the entire year. Sometimes I came and I conquered. Other times–most of the time–I fell prey to their demands: that I cry, that I drink, that I eat, that I fear, that I obsess, that I act compulsively, that I rebel, that I research, that I strive.

And now, at long last, that I give up.

Is there to be a light at the end of this tunnel? I doubt it. If there’s any light at all, it’ll be the light of another train chugging along on the exact same track until we collide.

Welcome to 2017. Welcome to London.